When I say I'm not lying, I'm probably lying. About not lying I mean, not necessarily whatever it was that you think I'm lying about, capiche'?
So the other day right, I got this bird around at my place. No not a flying bird you half a meatball, i'm talking a bird like the British say. Girls, Females, Chicks, Sluts, Hole, and a few more explicit ones that certain journalists would hold their words over, but i'm not one of those journalists. Dry tequila, wet pussy, was goin down in my bedroom that evening.
Anyways, the door knocks, right before climax right, well, my climax, who cares about the girl, I wanna sleep, not stay up all night trying to find a needle in a haystack and making it scream.
I answer the door, and its some snobby looking guy looking at me, big black eye, swollen cheekbones and all.
"Bro, I think you got the wrong place" I say. "You want the place down the road that is big and white, with a red cross that says "Doctor's" on it"
This guy has been jacked up. Jacket is ripped a bit, I think he's been mugged.
He looks up at me and says:
"You stole my wallet"
Now here is the part where I lie, just in case you cant pick up on it.
"Nah i didnt bro, I got a Puerto Rican girl I been with all day, for free, what I need money for?"
Bad lie I know, should of said blond bimbo, but lets face it, Latino girls are hot.
"I recognise you man, you knocked me over the head, reached into my jacket, and took my wallet. Lucky for me, it only had $130 dollars in it"
Lawyer smug. "Only" 130 dollars. Ass.
So I stand my ground, for a minute, and then pay the guy back. Like he needs it. Turns out his name was Tsukane, his own fault for walking down Broad Street before Daylight. Probably coming back from the Hotel after banging his mistress while his wife sleeps at home thinking hes working.
Still starting out, needa work on my mugging technique, still cant stealth these rich buggers.
I get back to my room, where the girl is lying out on the bed waiting for me. As I get back into to bed, she curls herself around me.
"I'm not finished yet Bosco" she says
"Oh...so tired...maybe tomorrow" I say back.
Im not lying....honest.
